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Knowing Protection & Emotional Protection

by Mike Levin

Friday, August 26, 2022

Not everything you think you’ve fallen in love with has to survive, be featured in your life, get shown on your website, live on in your prayers or whatever.

It’s not an easy pull to swallow, but reinventing yourself as you see fit can sometimes only happen when you paint over the canvas, and that’s okay. Take a snapshot of the prior paintings if you need, but them throw them in the archive for the occasional rosy reminiscence.

It’s fine to reminisce if it’s only for fun and you keep it in perspective. Such activity literally lets them back into your lives. Consider for a moment the possibility of the eternal soul. Entertain the notion that we may all be different versions of the same being. Are you still okay with what you’re doing? Okay, then we’re good.

We’re born not knowing shit—but maybe perhaps some little inkling based on our 22 trait-bundles of our chromosome pairs inherited randomly from one or the other of our parents. There’s that vibe, then there’s the vibe in the womb and the vibe of the circumstances you’re popped out into. Still for the most part, you don’t know shit.

And so sometimes you become a little shit. You might. It think so now, but absolutely horrid behavior is unsustainable. It will catch up with you and wrack your soul. From 25 to 28 years old sensitive artistic-types who’ve been dishonest with themselves clock-out, no matter how much material success they’ve enjoyed. It’s the great twenty-eight. I could quote musicians out the wazoo, but for me it’s Reddit founder Aaron Swartz. It’s not merely mental imbalance. It’s a snap-back effect from realization of life decision behavior that’s too crushing for sensitive types.

Survive. We all go through some variety of the great twenty-eights. Be deliberately callous and insensitive at times. That doesn’t make you bad. It makes you a survivor, and life is good and worth living, and so protecting yourself emotionally actually makes you good too. Grey stone on, my friend!

Anyone accusing you of being an a-hole for protecting yourself during such times is the true a-hole. It’s called projection. They’ve found certain behavior to work well for themselves, evoking sympathy and attention. Seeing others exhibit such behavior, or poses an immunity to it, pisses them off to no end. It’s an immediate “trigger” and gets their accusations flying. Listen closely. It’s actually them telling you what they hate most about themselves. They live inside their heads, in denial, and quickly protect their fragile egos by projecting outwards onto others any feelings that strike a chord and get close to the heart of their own issues.

Once upon a time you had more reason to be satisfied with the lot you were given in life. You were born somewhere into the social hierarchy of a tribal society of probably around 100 creatures, not too dissimilar from chimps.