Is There Anyone Cheesier Than Whitney Avalon?
by Mike Levin
Tuesday, June 07, 2022I don’t consume much mass media but when I do, it’s witty lyricists. If Linux, Python, vim & git didn’t end up being my calling, I would almost certainly have been drawn to this sort of performance art with all my snarky double entendre poetry and a sort of magic about it—but I’m not nearly as cute.
Don’t Be So Humble, Whitney!
OKAY SO, THESE ARE
DAIRY-FREE CHEESE BALLS
AND SINCE I'M
A LONGTIME VEGAN
WHO MAKES SILLY FACES
FOR A LIVING
I AM ALSO A
DAIRY-FREE CHEESE BALL
LET'S SEE WHO'S CHEESIER!
WHEN YOUR DAY
HAS BEEN ROUGH
YOU DESERVE SOMETHING
CRUNCHY AND YUMMY
A SNACK THAT'S NOT TOUGH
ON YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACT
OR YOUR TUMMY
THEY'RE ADDICTIVELY DELICIOUS
YET INCREDIBLY NUTRITIOUS
SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR
AS YOU SAVOR ALL THE FLAVOR
THE SNACK IS NEVER BLAND 'N'
IT'LL MAKE YOUR DAY OUTSTANDIN'
I'LL TELL YA
ONCE AND FOR ALL
JUST HAVE A BALL!
THEY'RE SO GOOD
AND SOMEHOW
EVEN CHEESIER THAN ME
If You Don’t Love Cheesy Poofs, You’d Be Lame!
OMG, OMG, OMG, your lyrics never disappoint, Whitney! You are the first performer I supported on Patreon and the best double entendre artist since Benny Hill. Glad you love the Cheesy Poofs. You are definitely not lame. Not Night Court in its fifth season lame—no, you are fresh as the day you told Cee Lo where to go. Whit, you’re a top-tier Disney Princess in my book.