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Is There Anyone Cheesier Than Whitney Avalon?

by Mike Levin

Tuesday, June 07, 2022

I don’t consume much mass media but when I do, it’s witty lyricists. If Linux, Python, vim & git didn’t end up being my calling, I would almost certainly have been drawn to this sort of performance art with all my snarky double entendre poetry and a sort of magic about it—but I’m not nearly as cute.

Don’t Be So Humble, Whitney!

                         OKAY SO, THESE ARE
                        DAIRY-FREE CHEESE BALLS
                             AND SINCE I'M
                           A LONGTIME VEGAN
                         WHO MAKES SILLY FACES
                             FOR A LIVING
                              I AM ALSO A
                        DAIRY-FREE CHEESE BALL
                       LET'S SEE WHO'S CHEESIER!

                             WHEN YOUR DAY
                            HAS BEEN ROUGH
                         YOU DESERVE SOMETHING
                           CRUNCHY AND YUMMY
                       A SNACK THAT'S NOT TOUGH
                        ON YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACT
                             OR YOUR TUMMY

                     THEY'RE ADDICTIVELY DELICIOUS
                       YET INCREDIBLY NUTRITIOUS
                        SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR
                      AS YOU SAVOR ALL THE FLAVOR
                     THE SNACK IS NEVER BLAND 'N'
                    IT'LL MAKE YOUR DAY OUTSTANDIN'

                             I'LL TELL YA
                           ONCE AND FOR ALL

                           JUST HAVE A BALL!

                            THEY'RE SO GOOD
                              AND SOMEHOW
                         EVEN CHEESIER THAN ME

If You Don’t Love Cheesy Poofs, You’d Be Lame!

OMG, OMG, OMG, your lyrics never disappoint, Whitney! You are the first performer I supported on Patreon and the best double entendre artist since Benny Hill. Glad you love the Cheesy Poofs. You are definitely not lame. Not Night Court in its fifth season lame—no, you are fresh as the day you told Cee Lo where to go. Whit, you’re a top-tier Disney Princess in my book.

Who Controls The Balls? You Control The Balls!

Category: tech

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